Pray to Brett that he may have mercy on your soul

Let’s start today off with another simple math equation--

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Did Brett Favre die for your sins? Not yet, but at this rate, America’s sportswriters will probably change that section of the Bible after the next slate of playoff games. Here are some quotes from the media this year, courtesy of planet Earth’s greatest sports blog, thebiglead.com.

“And you know what? I don’t care whether people are Packers fans or whatever, I’ll reiterate what we said: rooting for Favre is like rooting for America.” - Chris Berman

“Brett Favre is back. This guy has captured America.” - Bill Plaschke

“The rebirth of Favre is great news for football, sports and, when you think about it, life.” - Jay Mariotti

Yep. Brett Favre is great for life. OK, so he hasn’t done anything about the whole Iraq “issue.” And, he really hasn’t done much for our economy. He hasn’t done anything for global warming either. So, what makes him so great, you ask? Surely not solely because of his gridiron accomplishments, right? Well, you are right. He doesn’t die for your sins (yet), but he commits his own to save you from yours. He once tried to take as many painkillers as he could in order to drain the supply, thus giving you weaklings fewer chances to become addicted. He tried to do the same thing with alcohol as well until he quit that too. And he even tried to covet some other women, just to deter you from thinking the same exact thing.

So before you start chastising the media for praising Brett Favre, think about how much he’s helped your daily life. Are you an alcoholic who is also addicted to painkillers? No? Well, you probably have Brett Favre to thank. Now, hurry up and drink your water before Favre turns it to wine.